Smother me in Alpacas and Sheep; with a red barn and a cozy farm house where I can spin all the yarn and make all the things. 

 

*Sigh* A girl can dream, can’t she? That life sounds so much more peaceful and fulfilling than whatever I am doing now. I can’t say that I have the Christmas Blues, because I have the opposite of that… think more like National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. 

 

The first week of the Christmas Season was spent in a crazy holiday frenzy. Put up all the decorations, plan out all the presents, buy all the things, and make this house MAGICAL! It was stressful, and I’m not sure if I did anything even close to meaningful. 

 

There’s the struggle to make everything perfect and meaningful. I try to think back at traditions and the nostalgia of Christmases past and realize that my perfect christmases were probably not as perfect as I remember. I’m sure my mom stressed about how perfect she wanted things, how we should do XYZ just because. They were simple things that added up, and I can see how tired she could have been for Christmas. What ever her state of exhaustion, my mother loved the holiday and, happily, I inherited that love. It was probably the one thing I could really communicate with my mom on. She truly made the holiday season special. I hope to do the same. However, I’m not going to kill myself to make the holiday season match something I have sketchy memories of. 

 

The more I think of what my ideal Christmas would look like, the more I feel like I need to be living on a Ranch in Colorado or some mountainous region, maybe Canada (definitely Canada), and making wool for warm clothes. 

 

I think it’s time to put some breaks on the frenzy, and focus on the meaningful side of the season. 

 

My life was never perfect, in fact, it’s messy… and loud, and slow, and fast, and boring, and exciting, and depressing, and fulfilling. My holiday season is probably going to show that off a little. 

 

This year, I am going to do less shopping and more hugging. Less stressing about my life and more laughing with my babies. Less fear and more hope. 

 

There’s no telling what the next few weeks will bring, I am an idealist that’s often disappointed, but I do know that there’s going to be a lot of love. 

 

If there’s one thing that I’ve learned from my mother’s Christmases it’s that it doesn’t have to be magical to be incredible, but a little magic never hurt anybody. 

 

So, I’ll be here, writing to Santa for some sheep. I’m pretty sure that Sam will be a great sheep dog.

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