I’ve been busy. Not so busy that I can’t blog, but it is what it is. I want to work harder to keep up my online presence. I feel like I have so much to share and so much creativity that needs to come out. Right now, I’m looking at my personal and professional habits and I am realizing that there’s so much about myself that I want to work on. Woah. It feels like the task is Everest and I’m at sea level. Oh man. Deep. Breaths. It inspires anxiety.
I can do this.
One task on my personal growth list is being content with a simple life. What is a simple life, really? I guess what I am looking for is contentment with myself and what I have and what I do in the moment. That life goes slowly in many ways. That delayed gratification is a good thing and dang it I don’t need that dang apple watch. I think that living simply is different for everyone. For me, right now, it’s the idea of slowing down and letting go of the hustle.
My stage of life, as a mother and aspiring writer and designer, it’s difficult to find the time, money, and resources to be good at anything. With a toddler and an infant it’s an accomplishment if I can find time to take a shower, let alone sit down at a computer and write and design. I’m not even allowed to be in my phone without my son wanting to look at pictures of his cousins. (There’s a chance this has been partially written while I’m on the toilet—how about that for a visual?) I love my kids, I love being a mom, and I want to spend more time engaged in their lives while they’re little. I also want to spend more time nurturing my creativity.
In order to achieve both, I have to work on a few things. First I have to accept the fact that sometimes being creative is a slow process. The Sistine Chapel wasn’t painted in a night. My life isn’t Instagram perfect. No one’s life is. Secondly, I have to realize that consumerism won’t help me. I am the person they make ads for, and I have the credit card to prove it. Instead of drowning my sorrows in stuff, I need to be more mindful of my spending and make sure what I spend on is useful in my life. Thirdly, I have to be healthy for my babies, both mentally and physically if I want to keep up with them and be an active part of their lives. None of this requires much of me, except for the excruciating self discovery of why I feel I need to live the hustle.
Slowing down has always been difficult for me. I hope my little experiment here helps me see why.